I do NOT agree in any way at all with the “Caroline and/or Cave were Chell’s parents” hypothesis for a multitude of reasons.
I never wrote a post about it (aside from like, random discussions I’ve gotten into with folks), but there’s already some really, super-detailed ones out there that give some pretty solid evidence as to why the hypothesis doesn’t hold a drop of water. I’m… not sure where they are though. I swear I’ve reblogged some but I can’t find them?? HALP.
But uh, the main reasons for it are that Chell is Japanese/Brazilian and Cave and Caroline are neither, so they cannot be her biological parents. Chell also refers to Cave Johnson as separate from her own father in her science fair project. There’s more to it than that, but those are two of the main reasons I remember.
There’s also the fact that it’s just bad storytelling. Like, really bad storytelling. Want to make a story’s world tinier and less believable? MAKE EVERYONE RELATED.
What would making Chell related to Cave and/or Caroline add to the story? What does that add to her character arc? What does it add to Cave or Caroline or GLaDOS’s character arc? You have this random plot twist of OOOOOH, she’s their CHILD!!! and… what? What’s it supposed to mean? What are we to take away from that?
Well… nothing, honestly, because it does nothing but cheapen the relationship between Chell and GLaDOS. Their relationship is not mother-daughter–it’s a heck of a lot more complicated than that. They do not need to be blood related (or even related on paper) to make their story more powerful.
And… yeah. <___> Does anyone have anything to add to this…?
High-functioning anxiety sounds like…
You’re not good enough. You’re a bad friend. You’re not good at your job. You’re wasting time. You’re a waste of time. Your boyfriend doesn’t love you. You’re so needy. What are you doing with yourself? Why would you say that? What if they hate it? Why can’t you have your shit together? You’re going to get anxious and because you’re going to get anxious, you’re going to mess everything up. You’re a fraud. Just good at faking it. You’re letting everybody down. No one here likes you.
All the while, it appears perfectly calm.
It’s always looking for the next outlet, something to channel the never-ending energy. Writing. Running. List-making. Mindless tasks (whatever keeps you busy). Doing jumping jacks in the kitchen. Dancing in the living room, pretending it’s for fun, when really it’s a choreographed routine of desperation, trying to tire out the thoughts stuck in your head.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen it written out as if it were describing me exactly.
For their part, the Gardner police said in a Facebook post that they thought it was pretty damn funny.
“We would like to sincerely thank the persons responsible as it made our day when we pulled up what we expected to be hundreds of pictures of coyotes, foxes and raccoons. Thank you to the citizens who noticed the cameras. Your effort and sense of humor are greatly appreciated.”
I’d like to think that this is just how people in Kansas naturally behave at night.