// Alyx Vance is very important to me



so yeah the end of episode 2 was really really emotional and it got me thinking just how hard it must be for gordon. they call him ‘the one free man’ but when you think about it, he’s just in earth because the gman lets him. he has no control over his future. his only purpose is to kill or be killed. that alone would be enough to give the blues to anyone, but add to that the fact that his family is probably dead. the picture of the baby that’s in his locker? dead. his parents? dead. any love interest? sisters? brothers? dead. or worse, made into stalkers, or zombies. and then bam, eli is killed. they may have been nothing more than colleagues at black mesa, with a stronger relationship later in the resistance, but he’s still one of the few people from his past that is still there, one more familiar thing in an extremely unfamiliar world. and he watches the guy have his brains eaten or something.

and in spite of all that shit, gordon keeps fighting. even if he’s a puppet that’s plucked out and into situations by the gman’s hand, even if his future may be nothing more than a continuous battle against the odds, even if the friends he has today disappear while he’s in another 20-year-long stasis, he keeps fighting. he doesn’t ask, he doesn’t complain. he acts. he saves humanity even if he can’t save himself. 

and he has a phD in theoretical physics. fucking badass.